and things went downhill from there

Once we decided that we were going to thaw out a couple of the "Beyond Meat" patties we had in the freezer for dinner yesterday (since it looked like it might be our last opportunity to use the grill for some time), I went shopping for buns and other accoutrements. I nabbed a 4-pack of brioche buns, beefsteak tomato and sweet onion for my own burger (atara isn't a fan of much beyond lettuce on her own burgers). As I was heading to the till a niggling bit of curiosity started churning in the back of my head. If this little store carries vegan meat replacements, I wonder if they carry vegan cheese replacements too.

My experiences with vegan cheese in the past have been ... mixed; generally ranging from bad to best forgotten. It had been a few years since my last encounter with it, though, and given how far they have come with meat replacements, I felt it improbable that they'd not made improvements with cheese. I found a small pack of "cheese" slices in a similar format to the Kraft slices, and against my better judgement, I tossed one into the basket with my other groceries.

The first thing I did with the fake cheese was to try an unadulterated slice of it. I set it down next to a slice of processed cheese, and although they were both the same shape and colour, they were easy to tell apart. The fake cheese was like a slice of cheddar rather than processed cheese. It was hard and had clear lines across it from being sliced off of a larger block. In terms of smell - well, it smelled like cheese. If anything, it almost smelled too much like cheese, as if it was trying extra hard.

I tried eating both slices after that. Even ignoring the textural differences, there was no mistaking one for the other. I definitely preferred the flavour of the "real" cheese, but the vegan stuff wasn't bad. If I hadn't known that it was vegan in advance, that probably wouldn't have been my first guess on tasting it. It was mostly something in its aftertaste that just wasn't quite right. It triggered a flavour response that I associate with bitterness, without being overtly bitter. But it was okay - and a far cry better than any of my prior experiences with vegan cheese.

Given its texture, I had reservations about how well it would melt on my burger, but gamely put a slice of regular cheese on atara's burger, and a slice of the vegan one on mine. As I had feared, by the time the processed cheese was nicely moulded to the top of its patty, the fake one still looked pristine. I took the finished burger inside and left mine on the heat for a little longer. After another minute or two, it started to look a bit meltier, but rather than conforming to the shape of the burger, its edges started curving upward. I finally decided that it was done, and I removed it to a plate.

I also flipped the slice of cheese to make it curve downward instead. In spite of looking fairly solid, it was actually very soft when I flipped it, which raised my expectations a bit.



Appearances aside, if somebody had given me this burger and not told me that there was anything special about the cheese, it would not have occurred to me that it was a vegetable product. It was good. I'd simply have assumed that it was a slice of cheddar rather than a slice of processed cheese. Although I have no compelling reason to use this product on future burgers, I would have no hesitation about doing so.

I gave it a second trial this morning by making a grilled "cheese" sandwich for breakfast. Since I knew that it needed a bit of extra effort to melt, I gave it some assistance by making the sandwich over low heat, in a frying pan with a lid. Other than using lower heat and covering the pan, I made the sandwich the same way that I usually do. I melted a bit of butter in the frying pan before adding the sandwich and then added a bit more butter when went to flip the sandwich. Then I just turned it a few more times until both sides were toasted to my satisfaction.

When it was adequately browned, I removed it from the pan and was a bit disappointed to see that the cheese overhanging the edges of the sandwich did not look like it had melted at all. As soon as I took my first bite of the sandwich, though, I discovered that appearances can be deceiving. It was thoroughly melted all through. In fact, this sandwich was better than just passable - this was a perfectly cromulent grilled "cheese" sandwich. If somebody had made this for me without any advance warning, I'd have assumed that they used a different brand of cheese than I was used to, but "vegan" probably would not have been my first guess.

atara took a reluctant bite of the sandwich, and declared that other than not quite having the right mouthfeel, it was not really a bad sandwich. Coming from such a grilled cheese snob, that's pretty high praise.

I bought this cheese out of curiosity, and as an experiment. Neither of us has any (current) health reasons to avoid the real product, but I'm pleased with the outcome of this trial. If I ever developed lactose intolerance or came under my doctor's orders to avoid dairy, I think that I could be content using this product. They've managed to cross the threshold into "pretty good" territory.

Today on Cooking with plonq:

I have been wanting something curried for lunch or dinner for the past week or so, but it didn't fit with any of our meal plans for dinner, and I've been eating mostly leftovers for lunch.

When I was poking around for some lunch ideas today, I started mulling on ideas for a lentil curry when I remembered that we had a couple of chicken thighs in the freezer downstairs. I brought them upstairs, tossed them into a bowl of warm water to thaw a bit, and then started prepping other things.

I rough-chopped half an onion and tossed it into a pot with a tablespoon or so of cooking oil. While that cooked, I fetched a knob of ginger from the fridge and coarsely minced it up, followed by two cloves of garlic. When they were all roughly chopped, I gathered both of them together into a pile and continued chopping them until the onions were cooked enough to be ready for them.

I stirred them in with the onion and then cubed up the still-mostly-frozen chicken thighs. While I waited for those to finish thawing and cook through, I mixed up a cup of warm water with some chicken bullion and a couple tablespoons of powdered coconut milk. Next, I started a second pot on the stove with a cup of water, half a cup of rice, a pinch of salt, and a bit more of the coconut milk powder.

While the rice and chicken cooked, I added a splash of fish sauce to the coconut milk mixture and then started hunting for the red Thai curry paste. Which we don't have. That gave me a moment's pause before I shifted gears and grabbed the Madras curry powder instead. I dumped a good tablespoon of that in with the (now cooked) chicken and stirred it a bit to cook the edge off the curry, then I dropped in two frozen balls of spinach. After a moment or two of waffling, I ended up following the spinach with a good shake of red chilli flakes.

When the spinach was mostly thawed, I stirred in the coconut mixture and let it come to a gentle boil before reducing it to a simmer. I gave it a taste and then tweaked it a bit with about a teaspoon of sugar and two crushed cardamom pods. I was going to toss in some raisins when I spotted the dried cranberries. To my mind, they would accomplish the same function and add a nice bit of colour to the dish.

I added about a tablespoon of cornstarch to the curry to thicken it up, and then let it simmer on low heat until the rice was done. As soon as the rice was ready, I folded some black sesame seeds and a splash of orange blossom water into it.

I scooped the rice into a bowl, hollowed out the centre, and scooped in about half of the curry (the rest went into the fridge). I garnished it with another shake of chilli flakes, and some fresh parsley from the basement.

Prognosis: this was really good. Mild, and packed with flavour. The cranberries turned out to be a great addition.



On a side note: I will continue cross-posting all of my entries to both Livejournal and Dreamwidth, but given the current situation with Livejournal's owners, I can't guarantee the continued availability that site.

As always, anything you see on LJ is also available on Dreamwidth under the user-name "Plonq"

There was a short-lived restaurant downtown that offered quinoa breakfast bowls as one of their breakfast choices. I don't remember everything that went into it, but I recall that it was very good.

In the years since the place closed, I've been intending to try making my own variations on the theme, but it's only recently that I've finally started making the effort.

This morning's fare is simpler than the last one I made, but I think it's a bit better overall. I started by pouring just over a cup of boiling water over some dried oyster mushrooms to reconstitute them. I let them soak while I wandered off with a coffee. When I returned, I poured the warm liquid into a small saucepan and stirred in a bit of beef bullion. I cranked on the flame and added ½ cup of quinoa.

Whilst that cooked, I added some butter to a small, nonstick pan and tossed in ¼ of a minced red onion along with the white end of a scallion. I emptied the reconstituted mushrooms out of the sieve and replaced them with some frozen peas which I ran under hot water long enough to thaw and warm them slightly.

By now the onions were transparent, and the quinoa was nearly done, so I upended the frying pan into the quinoa pot and poured in the warmed peas before covering it again to finish cooking. I added a bit more butter to the pan and cracked in two eggs. I seasoned them with a dash of potassium chloride and chipotle powder before covering them with a lid and letting them cook until the whites were set.

Finally, I stirred together the quinoa mixture and poured it into a bowl. I slid the eggs out of the pan on top - artfully breaking one of the yolks in the process. Finally, I topped it with the oyster mushrooms, scallion greens, and some black sesame seeds. Prognosis: delicious.

atara can correct me if I remember wrong, but this bowl that I've been using lately is from a set that we got as part of a door prize at one of her (former) employer's Christmas parties (or we won it at a wedding social, or it was a Christmas present from one of her siblings). In any event, I just know that it's not something we purchased. But it's a nice set of dishes, and I keep meaning to use it more.

In any event, I started using this bowl because it's a bit shallower than our other bowls, which helps me to limit my portion sizes.

Today on "Cooking With plonq":

Miso potatoes edition.

I heard a passing reference to "butter and miso mashed potatoes" the other day, and I was intrigued enough to try it. We had a couple of potatoes (a russet potato, and a red potato) leftover from dinners this week, and while neither was ideal for mashed potatoes, I figured that I could make them work.

I peeled and cubed the potatoes, tossing them into a pot of salted water while I went and then left that to boil. While the potatoes were cooking, I dropped some butter and olive oil into a small pot over another burner. As I waited for the butter to melt, I peeled three cloves of garlic, smashed them with the heel of my hand, and tossed them in to soften.

I let the garlic cook in the butter/olive oil mixture until the potatoes were ready. I used a slotted spoon to scoop the potatoes out into a bowl, sprinkled in some black pepper, and turned my attention to the other pot again, slicing in the white end of a scallion.

Once the onion had a chance to get acquainted with the other ingredients,I splashed in a couple tablespoons of light cream, and about a tablespoon and a half of white miso paste. I stirred that together over the heat until it was smooth.

I poured the butter mixture into the potatoes and got busy with a masher. When it was almost ready, I sliced in the greens from the onion and finished mixing it together.

Texturally, it was a bit grainy because I used suboptimal potatoes for it, but the flavour was delicious. Three changes I might make for next time: I won't salt the potato water (the miso added enough salt), I will use the right kind of potatoes, and I would probably skip the cream - I don't think it added a lot.

Tangentially-related, I made bacon, eggs and cheddar biscuits for breakfast this morning (pictured).

We have a couple of cast-iron pans that I keep forgetting to use, which is a shame because they are always a delight to cook with. I purchased the smaller of the two at a nearby hardware co-op shortly before the start of the pandemic, but the bigger one is a bit of a mystery.

We picked up the second-hand twelve-inch pan at a thrift shop more years ago than either of us care to remember. It looked like it had never been used, and they were selling it for a couple of bucks, so I tossed it into the cart.

The interesting thing about this pan is that it has no markings on it as to where it was made, nor who manufactured it. The underside of the pan has a plain, Canadian-style maple leaf embossed on it, and the handle has the the raised number "12" on it. Other than some protruding bumps to facilitate handling, there are no other markings.

It works great. I just wish I would remember to use it more often.

Today on "Cooking With Plonq":

In this special "using up stuff in the fridge" edition, I present sauerkraut soup. This was inspired by a cooking video we watched yesterday where the host made a cabbage-based soup, and he mentioned that there was a traditional Polish version made with sauerkraut.

We had a couple inches of kielbasa in the fridge left from a dish we made last week, and I had about ½ a jar of vintage sauerkraut that I keep forgetting about at the back of the fridge. I moved the jar to the front of the fridge before I went to bed last night as a reminder, and this morning I ran over a mental check-list of what might go well in a soup.

I started off by coarsely chopping a stalk of celery and a handful of baby carrots. I peeled and cut up the sausage into bite-sized pieces, then tossed the three ingredients into a pot with a bit of olive oil. I sautéed it until the sausage was starting to brown and then dumped in a couple tablespoons of dried red onion flakes.

I shook in about a half-teaspoon of caraway seeds and cooked it a bit longer to give them a hint of toastiness before adding about ½ tsp each of white pepper and sweet paprika and ¼ tsp of dill weed. I followed those with the half-jar of sauerkraut, liquid and all (this stuff did not have a lot of liquid, so I felt pretty safe adding it).

When that was all combined, I stirred in about a teaspoon of chicken bullion paste and then dumped in the remaining ~700ml of water left in the tea kettle after breakfast (I turned on the heat under it when I started on the soup). I followed that up with a bay leaf. Then, once the soup came up to a boil, I turned it down and let it simmer for another fifteen minutes.

I served it with a grind of fresh pepper on the top. It was really good. I know that atara won't eat this, but I'm keeping this one in mind for future reference. When I finished this, I filled a container for the fridge so that I can have it again for lunch tomorrow or Wednesday. While I had the fridge open, I spotted the sour cream, and it occurred to me that it would probably go well with this soup.

There was about half a bowl of soup left after I had packaged up my lunch, so I gave myself another serving and added a good dollop of sour cream. Good call. That pushed it to next-level good. Not as photogenic as the first bowl, but it made up for that in flavour. Two thumbs up.

Tonight on "Cooking With plonq":

Nothing like some mujadara to warm you on a cold winter's night - or - "we are scraping the bottom of the bin for ingredients; what can we make from this stuff?"

Ideally, this is made from brown lentils rather than green, but it doesn't make a lot of difference once they go into the Instant Pot. I measured out a cup of lentils and covered them with boiling water to soak while I worked on other things. I also rinsed a cup of brown basmati rice and let it soak (in cold water).

The recipe called for shallots, but I substituted a couple of small, yellow onions. I zipped them into thin slices on the mandolin and put them in the pressure cooker to start caramelizing in olive oil while I minced up some garlic cloves and some fresh ginger. The recipe called for powdered ginger, but I substituted fresh ginger and adjusted the quantity up to compensate. The ginger in the fridge needed to be used.

While I waited for the onions, I measured out some cumin, coriander, allspice, cinnamon. and kosher salt into a small bowl. Once the onions looked done, I scooped out about half of them to serve as a garnish and then dumped in the garlic and ginger. I stirred that for a couple of minutes until it was fragrant, then tossed in the spices and mixed it all together, roasting them for a few seconds until they just started to smoke.

At that point, I quickly dumped in three cups of hot water. I mixed that up, scraping up the fond from the bottom of the pot, then drained and added the rice and lentils. The recipe called for lemon zest here, but we don't have any lemons. I pondered on alternatives, and just as I was reaching for the lemon pepper, I suddenly remembered that we have dried kaffir lime leaves. I added two of those and a bay leaf, hoping that they would be adequate substitutes.

I set it to cook on high pressure for 11 minutes and gave it another 10 minutes of natural release time before I opened the vent. Finally, while I was waiting for it to cook, I harvested a bit of fresh parsley from the basement and minced it fine.

The verdict: It was good. Just the thing for a cold winter night. The kaffir lime and bay leaves seemed to fit the bill nicely.

This evening on "Cooking With plonq": It doesn't look as pretty as some things I've cooked, but the taste was fine.

I put that pomegranate molasses to use this afternoon and whipped up a batch of Persian chicken - but I'll start with the sides.

The salad is cucumber, red onion, Roma tomatoes and parsley with an olive oil/lime dressing. The rice is basmati rice to which I added a bit of turmeric for colour and a splash of rose water at the end for fragrance.

For the chicken, I toasted 8oz of walnuts at 350°F for ten minutes and then let that cool while I cut up a package of boneless, skinless chicken thighs. I browned those in olive oil and butter while I diced up two medium onions. When the chicken was cooked and lightly browned, I transferred it to a bowl and poured the onions into the pot to cook until they were translucent.

I added the chicken back to the pot and dropped in one of our 2-cup bags of frozen chicken broth. Once that had thawed and come up to a simmer, I covered it and let it simmer for thirty minutes. When the time was almost up, I poured the cooled walnuts into a food processor and chopped them very finely.

Once that was ready, I added it to the pot along with the various spices (cinnamon, salt, pepper, turmeric, sugar, and nutmeg) and five tablespoons of pomegranate molasses. Then I covered it and let it simmer very gently for the next hour.

When there are about ten minutes left on the timer, I tossed together the salad and put the rice on to cook. The last step was to use the back of the spoon to break up some of the chicken thighs to add a bit of body to the sauce. Finally, we served it with pomegranate arils for garnish.

Two things I would change for next time is to let the onion soak in water for a few hours in advance of making the salad, and I think I'd add a pinch of sugar to the salad dressing because it was a bit sourer than I'd have liked. The rice and chicken were both really good.

Today on "Cooking with Plonq":

When I was out shopping yesterday, I grabbed a carton of buttermilk because I haven't bought that in a very long time. When atara saw it in the fridge this morning, she reasonably asked what I planned to do with it.

So this morning, I showed her.

I started off by cutting two pieces of bacon into small bits and tossing them into a frying pan because that seemed like a reasonable thing to do. While that was rendering, I whisked together flour, salt and baking powder in a shallow bowl.

I chopped up half-a-stick of unsalted butter into ½ inch cubes and cut it into the flour with a pastry cutter (note to self: we need a new cutter). Once it had the right consistency, I put it in the fridge to stay cold, and I measured out just over ½ cup of buttermilk and put that back in the fridge.

When the bacon had rendered down into nice crispy bits, I scooped it out onto a paper towel and set it aside to cool while I dealt with the base biscuits. I took the flour out of the fridge and shredded a couple generous tablespoons of sharp cheddar into it, then stirred in the cooled bacon bits. I put it back in the fridge and set the toaster oven to 400° convection to preheat.

When the oven was up to temperature, I took everything out of the fridge and made a small well in the flour. I poured in the buttermilk, combining it all with a silicone spatula before pouring it out onto the counter. After folding it on itself a few times, I determined that it was a bit too dry, so I added another splash of buttermilk.

I folded it on itself in thirds a few more times until it had all come together, then pressed it out flat and used a round cookie cutter to carve out some biscuits. I managed to get half-a-dozen biscuits out of it in total.

I normally brush the tops of the biscuits with melted butter or buttermilk before putting them in the oven, but given the nature of these ones, I decided to brush the tops with a bit of the residual bacon fat in the pan. The result was as good as I'd hoped - the tops browned up nicely, and the bacon flavour came through subtly.

Two thumbs up. Will keep this recipe on hand for future biscuits.

Sometimes I cook less ambitious things. This was a recent attempt at beans on toast.

For to make the yummy and crunchy buffalo wings.¹


Wings
1. Buy raw chicken wings. Try to look for wings that have already been removed from the chicken. I purchased mine from a store that sells meat.
2. Prepare the wings by removing three from the package. Consider patting them dry, but don't. Neither should you wash them because that is dumb.
3. Put the wings in a shallow bowl-shaped container. I used a bowl. Sprinkle some cornstarch over them using a small plastic spoon that you assume is clean. Remember after that you probably wanted to add some salt and pepper to the cornstarch before you applied it, so sprinkle some of each over the wings. Then add a bit more cornstarch to cover the bits that you missed the first time.
4. Lay the wings, pretty-side down on the rack of your air fryer and cook them for about 15 minutes at 250 Fahrenheit (394.26 Kelvin)²
5. When the timer goes off³, flip the wings to be pretty-side up and crank the heat to 400 Fahrenheit (204.44 Celsius)⁴. Cook for an additional 20 minutes.

Helpful Tip: While the wings cook cook³, wash the container in which you tossed the wings in cornstarch so that you have a clean bowl (or bowl-like container) in which to toss them with sauce. plonq is all about not dirtying any more dishes than he must.

Sauce
1. When there is about 4-5 minutes left on the wings ³, add a knob of butter to a small saucepan. How much is a knob? It's an amusing amount. Hee hee. Knob.
2) Put that over low heat and add Frank's Red Hot sauce.⁵ How much you add depends on how much you like Frank's Red Hot.
3) Add a sploosh of Worcestershire sauce.⁶ Swirl it all over the heat until the butter has melted and emulsified into the sauce. If it hasn't emulsified then you did something wrong.

Helpful Tip: Don't forget about the wings while you're working on the sauce.³

Assembly
1. Remove the wings from the air fryer using tongs, very large tweezers, or very very quick fingers into the wing container that you washed earlier.⁷
2. Pour the sauce over the wings. Toss them to coat. Reserve a bit of sauce because you'll inevitable miss a spot or two.
3. Dab the rest of the sauce over the spots that you missed.
4. Enjoy the wings however you enjoy wings, with whatever sides you think are appropriate.

¹No buffalo were harmed in the making thereof.
²Or 120 Celsius if you're some kind of Eurotrash. Or Canadian.
³You did remember to set a timer, right? I'm not here to hold your hand. If you forgot, go remove the dry husks that used to be wings from the fryer, toss them in the bin and try again.
⁴Or 477.59 Kelvin if you're a scientist who can't leave their work behind at the lab. If your air fryer goes hotter than this, turn it as hot as it will go and cook them for 15 minutes.
⁵Q: Can I substitute another sauce for Frank's? A: No.
⁶A sploosh is the fluid equivalent of a knob. Most cookbooks should have a conversion table for knobs, splooshes, dollops and the like.
⁷Whatever - I said I wasn't here to hold your hand. If you didn't wash it, that's your problem. Improvise. Stand there holding the blistering-hot wings in your bare hands and regret your life for all I care.