Cooking with Plonq
Aug. 5th, 2020 02:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plonqFor to make the yummy and crunchy buffalo wings.1
Wings
1. Buy raw chicken wings. Try to look for wings that have already been removed from the chicken. I purchased mine from a store that sells meat.
2. Prepare the wings by removing three from the package. Consider patting them dry, but don't. Neither should you wash them because that is dumb.
3. Put the wings in a shallow bowl-shaped container. I used a bowl. Sprinkle some cornstarch over them using a small plastic spoon that you assume is clean. Remember after that you probably wanted to add some salt and pepper to the cornstarch before you applied it, so sprinkle some of each over the wings. Then add a bit more cornstarch to cover the bits that you missed the first time.
4. Lay the wings, pretty-side down on the rack of your air fryer and cook them for about 15 minutes at 250 Fahrenheit (394.26 Kelvin)2
5. When the timer goes off3, flip the wings to be pretty-side up and crank the heat to 400 Fahrenheit (204.44 Celsius)4. Cook for an additional 20 minutes.
Helpful Tip: While the wings cook cook3, wash the container in which you tossed the wings in cornstarch so that you have a clean bowl (or bowl-like container) in which to toss them with sauce.plonq is all about not dirtying any more dishes than he must.
Sauce
1. When there is about 4-5 minutes left on the wings 3, add a knob of butter to a small saucepan. How much is a knob? It's an amusing amount. Hee hee. Knob.
2) Put that over low heat and add Frank's Red Hot sauce.5 How much you add depends on how much you like Frank's Red Hot.
3) Add a sploosh of Worcestershire sauce.6 Swirl it all over the heat until the butter has melted and emulsified into the sauce. If it hasn't emulsified then you did something wrong.
Helpful Tip: Don't forget about the wings while you're working on the sauce.3
Assembly
1. Remove the wings from the air fryer using tongs, very large tweezers, or very very quick fingers into the wing container that you washed earlier.7
2. Pour the sauce over the wings. Toss them to coat. Reserve a bit of sauce because you'll inevitable miss a spot or two.
3. Dab the rest of the sauce over the spots that you missed.
4. Enjoy the wings however you enjoy wings, with whatever sides you think are appropriate.
1No buffalo were harmed in the making thereof.
2Or 120 Celsius if you're some kind of Eurotrash. Or Canadian.
3You did remember to set a timer, right? I'm not here to hold your hand. If you forgot, go remove the dry husks that used to be wings from the fryer, toss them in the bin and try again.
4Or 477.59 Kelvin if you're a scientist who can't leave their work behind at the lab. If your air fryer goes hotter than this, turn it as hot as it will go and cook them for 15 minutes.
5Q: Can I substitute another sauce for Frank's? A: No.
6A sploosh is the fluid equivalent of a knob. Most cookbooks should have a conversion table for knobs, splooshes, dollops and the like.
7Whatever - I said I wasn't here to hold your hand. If you didn't wash it, that's your problem. Improvise. Stand there holding the blistering-hot wings in your bare hands and regret your life for all I care.
Wings
1. Buy raw chicken wings. Try to look for wings that have already been removed from the chicken. I purchased mine from a store that sells meat.
2. Prepare the wings by removing three from the package. Consider patting them dry, but don't. Neither should you wash them because that is dumb.
3. Put the wings in a shallow bowl-shaped container. I used a bowl. Sprinkle some cornstarch over them using a small plastic spoon that you assume is clean. Remember after that you probably wanted to add some salt and pepper to the cornstarch before you applied it, so sprinkle some of each over the wings. Then add a bit more cornstarch to cover the bits that you missed the first time.
4. Lay the wings, pretty-side down on the rack of your air fryer and cook them for about 15 minutes at 250 Fahrenheit (394.26 Kelvin)2
5. When the timer goes off3, flip the wings to be pretty-side up and crank the heat to 400 Fahrenheit (204.44 Celsius)4. Cook for an additional 20 minutes.
Helpful Tip: While the wings cook cook3, wash the container in which you tossed the wings in cornstarch so that you have a clean bowl (or bowl-like container) in which to toss them with sauce.
plonq is all about not dirtying any more dishes than he must.Sauce
1. When there is about 4-5 minutes left on the wings 3, add a knob of butter to a small saucepan. How much is a knob? It's an amusing amount. Hee hee. Knob.
2) Put that over low heat and add Frank's Red Hot sauce.5 How much you add depends on how much you like Frank's Red Hot.
3) Add a sploosh of Worcestershire sauce.6 Swirl it all over the heat until the butter has melted and emulsified into the sauce. If it hasn't emulsified then you did something wrong.
Helpful Tip: Don't forget about the wings while you're working on the sauce.3
Assembly
1. Remove the wings from the air fryer using tongs, very large tweezers, or very very quick fingers into the wing container that you washed earlier.7
2. Pour the sauce over the wings. Toss them to coat. Reserve a bit of sauce because you'll inevitable miss a spot or two.
3. Dab the rest of the sauce over the spots that you missed.
4. Enjoy the wings however you enjoy wings, with whatever sides you think are appropriate.
1No buffalo were harmed in the making thereof.
2Or 120 Celsius if you're some kind of Eurotrash. Or Canadian.
3You did remember to set a timer, right? I'm not here to hold your hand. If you forgot, go remove the dry husks that used to be wings from the fryer, toss them in the bin and try again.
4Or 477.59 Kelvin if you're a scientist who can't leave their work behind at the lab. If your air fryer goes hotter than this, turn it as hot as it will go and cook them for 15 minutes.
5Q: Can I substitute another sauce for Frank's? A: No.
6A sploosh is the fluid equivalent of a knob. Most cookbooks should have a conversion table for knobs, splooshes, dollops and the like.
7Whatever - I said I wasn't here to hold your hand. If you didn't wash it, that's your problem. Improvise. Stand there holding the blistering-hot wings in your bare hands and regret your life for all I care.
