and things went downhill from there

This evening on "Cooking With plonq": It doesn't look as pretty as some things I've cooked, but the taste was fine.

I put that pomegranate molasses to use this afternoon and whipped up a batch of Persian chicken - but I'll start with the sides.

The salad is cucumber, red onion, Roma tomatoes and parsley with an olive oil/lime dressing. The rice is basmati rice to which I added a bit of turmeric for colour and a splash of rose water at the end for fragrance.

For the chicken, I toasted 8oz of walnuts at 350°F for ten minutes and then let that cool while I cut up a package of boneless, skinless chicken thighs. I browned those in olive oil and butter while I diced up two medium onions. When the chicken was cooked and lightly browned, I transferred it to a bowl and poured the onions into the pot to cook until they were translucent.

I added the chicken back to the pot and dropped in one of our 2-cup bags of frozen chicken broth. Once that had thawed and come up to a simmer, I covered it and let it simmer for thirty minutes. When the time was almost up, I poured the cooled walnuts into a food processor and chopped them very finely.

Once that was ready, I added it to the pot along with the various spices (cinnamon, salt, pepper, turmeric, sugar, and nutmeg) and five tablespoons of pomegranate molasses. Then I covered it and let it simmer very gently for the next hour.

When there are about ten minutes left on the timer, I tossed together the salad and put the rice on to cook. The last step was to use the back of the spoon to break up some of the chicken thighs to add a bit of body to the sauce. Finally, we served it with pomegranate arils for garnish.

Two things I would change for next time is to let the onion soak in water for a few hours in advance of making the salad, and I think I'd add a pinch of sugar to the salad dressing because it was a bit sourer than I'd have liked. The rice and chicken were both really good.

For to make the yummy and crunchy buffalo wings.¹


Wings
1. Buy raw chicken wings. Try to look for wings that have already been removed from the chicken. I purchased mine from a store that sells meat.
2. Prepare the wings by removing three from the package. Consider patting them dry, but don't. Neither should you wash them because that is dumb.
3. Put the wings in a shallow bowl-shaped container. I used a bowl. Sprinkle some cornstarch over them using a small plastic spoon that you assume is clean. Remember after that you probably wanted to add some salt and pepper to the cornstarch before you applied it, so sprinkle some of each over the wings. Then add a bit more cornstarch to cover the bits that you missed the first time.
4. Lay the wings, pretty-side down on the rack of your air fryer and cook them for about 15 minutes at 250 Fahrenheit (394.26 Kelvin)²
5. When the timer goes off³, flip the wings to be pretty-side up and crank the heat to 400 Fahrenheit (204.44 Celsius)⁴. Cook for an additional 20 minutes.

Helpful Tip: While the wings cook cook³, wash the container in which you tossed the wings in cornstarch so that you have a clean bowl (or bowl-like container) in which to toss them with sauce. plonq is all about not dirtying any more dishes than he must.

Sauce
1. When there is about 4-5 minutes left on the wings ³, add a knob of butter to a small saucepan. How much is a knob? It's an amusing amount. Hee hee. Knob.
2) Put that over low heat and add Frank's Red Hot sauce.⁵ How much you add depends on how much you like Frank's Red Hot.
3) Add a sploosh of Worcestershire sauce.⁶ Swirl it all over the heat until the butter has melted and emulsified into the sauce. If it hasn't emulsified then you did something wrong.

Helpful Tip: Don't forget about the wings while you're working on the sauce.³

Assembly
1. Remove the wings from the air fryer using tongs, very large tweezers, or very very quick fingers into the wing container that you washed earlier.⁷
2. Pour the sauce over the wings. Toss them to coat. Reserve a bit of sauce because you'll inevitable miss a spot or two.
3. Dab the rest of the sauce over the spots that you missed.
4. Enjoy the wings however you enjoy wings, with whatever sides you think are appropriate.

¹No buffalo were harmed in the making thereof.
²Or 120 Celsius if you're some kind of Eurotrash. Or Canadian.
³You did remember to set a timer, right? I'm not here to hold your hand. If you forgot, go remove the dry husks that used to be wings from the fryer, toss them in the bin and try again.
⁴Or 477.59 Kelvin if you're a scientist who can't leave their work behind at the lab. If your air fryer goes hotter than this, turn it as hot as it will go and cook them for 15 minutes.
⁵Q: Can I substitute another sauce for Frank's? A: No.
⁶A sploosh is the fluid equivalent of a knob. Most cookbooks should have a conversion table for knobs, splooshes, dollops and the like.
⁷Whatever - I said I wasn't here to hold your hand. If you didn't wash it, that's your problem. Improvise. Stand there holding the blistering-hot wings in your bare hands and regret your life for all I care.

After atara's great success at brining a chicken awhile back, I decided to give it a try. As I type this, there is a whole chicken in a pot of brine in the refrigerator. If past experience plays out, I will end up producing something interesting, but not necessarily edible. What is the taste of epic failure? I fear that I may find out in a few hours...