Vague allusions!

[plonq]

(Indirect reference to some big issue that "those who need to know" already know about.  No explanation about why I mention it here if I don't plan to talk about it.)

(Oblique recriminations against unnamed persons who may or may not have wronged me, and are responsible for "you know what".)

(Ambiguous comments suggesting the contemplation of suicide, a break from the internet, or sever constipation.)

(Thinly veiled self-pity.  Nobody loves me.)

(Rinse.  Repeat.)

Comments

[duncandahusky.livejournal.com]

(Generic, vague affirmation. Awkward translation of physical act of affection into text.)

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

(Gushing praise for your ability to deal with what is clearly an unacceptable situation.)

(Vicious condemnation of idiots.)

(Nonspecific supportive comments.)

-The Gneech

[supersocks.livejournal.com]

( *omg hugggggggs* )

[kylet.livejournal.com]

(Timid introduction as someone who found your LJ thru a friend's link.)

(Making total ass of self since obviously completely lacking in the foreknowledge of what you're talking about.)

(Cheerful, bland offerings of support attempting to disguise above lack of knowledge.)

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

( Utterly random, self-serving clueless flame with hardly any relevance to your original post! )

( Smiley-face, as if that excuses the above paragraph. )

[shockwave77598.livejournal.com]

(clear surprise at seeing this again!)

[mwalimu.livejournal.com]

(Kind words of affirmation that I feel obligated to respond with as I contemplate how clueless I am as to what your situation must be like.)

(Rambling paragraph about something you mentioned that has little or nothing to do with the rest of your post.)

[duncandahusky.livejournal.com]

(Indignant, irate exclamation)

(Long, semicoherent rant that only tangentially addresses the point of contention)

(Irrelevant anecdote that neither proves nor disproves the thesis statement)

(Brief statement of disgust and annoyance)

[klepsydra.livejournal.com]

(drive-by would-be witty comment, aiming to be wry yet inoffensive, succeeding only in being incomprehensible)

[delphinios.livejournal.com]

(Generic supportive comments that demonstrate my lack of personal knowladge about you)

(Semi-relevant personal anectdote that attempts to convey a unique insight into your situation)

(Vague psuedo-chinese philosophical quote)

[doodlesthegreat.livejournal.com]

(obligatory troll)

[unciaa.livejournal.com]

I am the mandatory person who breaks the joke because being different is cool.

[athelind.livejournal.com]

(contemptuous frustration at the people who just won't Get Over It)

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

(random bit of chitchat on some topic unrelated to the original poster 'cause we're both too lazy to e-mail each other)

-TG

[koogrr.livejournal.com]

(quotes lyrics of Last Train and What Time is Love)

[pholph.livejournal.com]

(Random stranger throwing in words of support.)

(Obligatory Kitten Picture to try and cheer you up and hijack the mood with fuzzy cuteness.)

[kagur.livejournal.com]

(Random stranger telling you that both you and unnamed person are both wrong and you should both "get over it" and "be more mature")

[feren.livejournal.com]

(Thinly-guised demand to conform)

[feren.livejournal.com]

(Oblique attempt at humor referencing /.'s "First Post" problem now infesting LJ)

[stilghar.livejournal.com]

(Pointless, obscenity-flooded ranting on completely unrelated subject)

[stilghar.livejournal.com]

(Poorly-spelled attempt at apology for posting the previous in the wrong journal.)

[shockwave77598.livejournal.com]

(Spelling-Nazi pointing out of the misspelling of the word, "Severe"!)

[atara.livejournal.com]

(Person in the know decrying the interference of people not in the know.)

(Demands that everyone not in the know mind their own business. Hasn't he been hurt enough?)

[rowyn]

(pretends to break the joke in an effort to be different, too, but actually goes along, thereby proving hopeless conformity to the herd despite pretensions of uniqueness)

[smrgol-t-kirin.livejournal.com]

(sympathy from a friend who has been out of contact for too long)

[orleans.livejournal.com]

(Extremely late comment way after everyone else's offering sympathy and apologies for being away from the internet and so out of the loop.)

(Vague relief that everything's been resolved to everyone's happiness.)

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

(Alligator.)

[stilghar.livejournal.com]

(Pointless link to pornographic material that would gag a New York street cop.)

[3catsjackson.livejournal.com]

(Content-light comment from a friend-of-a-friend containing a link to a different friend-of-a-friend's journal entry (http://www.livejournal.com/users/nicodemusrat/14641.html) that seems oddly appropriate in an ambiguous sort of way.)

(BTW, introduction and pleasantries!)