Fsssss *pop*

It is days like this that make me wish that I had the materials, and ambition to build an air-powered hamster cannon. Naturally I'd have to equip them with little pointy, hamster-sized helmets to make them more aerodynamic, and also to give the little rodent projectiles a fighting chance once they left the muzzle.

Of course anything of reasonable size that could put enough force behind a hamster to do any real damage would also do terrible harm to the ammunition itself, and the thought of firing blobs of hamster pudding at people doesn't carry the same appeal. Still, I am not going to let the laws of physics stop me from my moment of mental schadenfreude as I envision screaming masses fleeing a rain of squeaking, furry death from above.

The dumbness just keeps getting dumber

I know that others have posted about this already, but the more I hear about this, the harder it hammers at my anti-stupid shield that usually keeps me insulated from these things.

Assistant Attorney General John Grossman called the light boards"bomblike" devices and said that if they had been explosive they could have damaged infrastructure and transportation in the city.

<.<

>.>

No shit. Really?

Now that's some good police work there, John; it's no wonder you're holding such a prestigious position. You are also an inspiration to the children, since you are living proof that any drooling moron can get elected to a high office.

When you examine his statement, there is no untruth in it. If the blinking LED cartoon devices had been explosive, then they could have damaged the infrastructure in the city. Mind you, if they had been bottomless free Twinkie-dispensers then they could have led to wide-spread obesity as thousands of people partook of the succulent, sponge cake goodness. Perhaps they should charge the advertisers with intent to promote heart disease in children. Hell, they're already charging them with a felony for leaving a Lite Brite under a bridge - what's a couple more bogus charges between friends?

The amount of arm-waving, scaremongering, knee-jerking stupidity at play in this story is appalling on too many levels to enumerate.

"It had a very sinister appearance," (Massachusetts Attorney General Martha) Coakley told reporters. "It had a battery behind it, and wires."

It also had blinking LEDs in the shape of a cartoon character. Wait a minute... batteries... blinking cartoon character in lights... help me out here, but I think there might be a less-than-sinister connection.

Coakley and Menino did not rule out the possibility of criminal charges, or a civil suit to recoup what they say is the hundreds of thousands of dollars the city spent to respond to the bomb scares.

Translation: We came out of this looking like idiots, and somebody needs to pay for our humiliation.

Is it any wonder that it is so hard to remain free of cynicism these days?