plonq: (Cutting through the pooh)
This Mensa calendar seems to have one bad page per month.  I enjoy the little brain exercises every day, but ones like this drive me up the wall:

Eight chocolate bars plus six gumdrops cost 70ยข.  You could buy seven gumdrops for the price of two chocolate bars.  How much change will you get back from $1.00 if you buy six of each?

Answer behind a cut. )
plonq: (Plonq @ Work)
I've been staring blankly at the screen for a good part of this morning, trying to figure out how to retrofit some asinine change requests into the prototype of this project.  It's not like I'm running on a tight deadline, but the desired change runs almost completely contrary to the original design specifications, and I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to shoehorn it in without making everything else break.  Mind you, it could always be worse.

Some of the dumbest design changes I ever received were from a person who - I think - no longer works here.  I don't know if he quit, retired, or if his own brain gnawed its way out through the back of his skull in a desperate attempt to escape.  Anyway...  I ran a one-shot report for him a few years back, and sent him the details in a large text file.  I'd asked him in advance if that was okay, and he readily acquiesced.

The next day he mailed me back, asking if I could put it into an Excel spreadsheet for him so that he could manipulate the data.  I was mildly miffed, but it wasn't the most onerous request I'd ever received, so I imported the data into an Excel spreadsheet and sent him the results.

Two hours later he contacted me again, and asked if I could move around a few of the columns.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt because some people are a bit sketchy when it comes to using cut & paste.

A short time later he asked if I could sort the data on two of the columns.  ...!  Well, sorting can be tricky.  I sorted the two columns and send him the latest spreadsheet.  A few nanoseconds after it hit his in-box...

He contacted me again, and asked if I could change the colour of the numbers in the third column to green, and the fifth column to red.  At this point I finally snapped.  I changed the colours, and then tersely informed him that any further requests would have to be directed through an obtuse co-worker who would, in effect, run passive blocking for me.

It worked, but.... great belching anus of Anubis!  What kind of manipulation had he planned to do with the numbers in Excel when he couldn't even figure out something as simple as changing the colour of text?
plonq: (Irked mood)
My co-worker has been driving me up the wall all week.  For the past few days he's been plugging through one of our daily status reports.  These things are a few thousand lines each, and he's working though it one line at a time, checking on the state of things.

We run this report daily because the status of things changes daily.

He's working his way through a report that is two weeks old.  I have repeatedly chewed him out for this, and he knows that I disapprove, and why, but he refuses to grab a current report until he's finished working his way through the old one that he has.  Here is the conversation that has been repeated several times a day so far this week.

Him: Hey [livejournal.com profile] plonq, have a look at the records on this car.
Me: (resigned sigh) OK, I have the records in front of me.  What's wrong with it?
Him: That's what I want to know.  It's on the report showing a gap between Rouses Point and St Luc, but I don't see it.
Me: (sigh again) That's because the gap has been fixed, and you're looking at an old report.
Him: So why is it still on the report?
Me: (resisting the urge to throttle.  Enunciating carefully) It's not still on the report.  If you looked at today's report you would not have found this one.  You're using a report that is two weeks out of date.
Him: Well, I just want to finish this one off.
Me: (another little piece of me dies)
plonq: (Moody)
The latest Semagic has become an unstable piece of excrement under Win2K. I'm going to see if I have an older version that I can roll back to, but right now I'm dead in the water. =/

Has anyone else had problems with the later versions? Does anyone else out there use Semagic?

[Edit: I found an older version kicking around and it runs just fine, so until further notice I'm going to keep using version 1.5.1.5U.]

Hmph

Aug. 25th, 2005 10:58 am
plonq: (Irked mood)
I just came from a town hall meeting.  Buried in the middle of one of the Powerpoint slides...

"We are hoping to make a quantum leap forward in this area."

You use that term, but I do not think it means what you think it means.

Then again, the cynic in me things that perhaps it does.

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