A whole world of tinfoil hats
Nov. 15th, 2004 10:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plonqIt started when I saw an article on the latest inanity by Lexmark. In Russia, printer prints up reports on you! From any other company I would just see this as being a bit slimy, but from Lexmark I can't shake this feeling of underlying malice. Their bid to use the courts to block other companies from making replacement cartridges got tossed out, so maybe they're going after the consumers. I can see it now... (dons his tinfoil hat - with holes for his ears to poke through, of course)
"Dear <Lexmark® printer user>
It has come to our notice that you are attempting to use a non-Lexmark® cartridge in your Lexmark® printer. Not only will doing so void your warranty, but your Lexmark® printer has not been certified to work with third party cartridges. For your protection, and to preserve the trouble-free operation of your Lexmark® printer we have temporarily disabled printing on your computer. Please note that any attempt to bypass this printing lock will not only void your warranty, but may render you legally liable in accordance with your Lexmark® EULA and the terms outlined therein. You may click here to see a list of authorized Lexmark® dealers in your area, or to order your replacement Lexmark® cartridges direct.
Thank you."
Then, while I was digging a bit more into that, I learned some more information about the hardware/software hacks that are showing up in newer releases of software to prevent people from scanning or photocopying money. Apparently newer bills have a pattern of little circles on them which the hardware/software recognizes. It's loosely patterned after the constellation of Orion, and it looks like this:
Apparently it's showing up on all the new European currencies, and I've confirmed that it's on our new CDN$5 bills. Wait, what's that - do I hear the music from Twilight Zone? Ack!
Anyway, here's another meme behind a cut.
Congratulations on being the creator of a new
Evil Plan (tm)!
Your objective is simple: World Domination.
Your motive is a little bit more complex: Evil - It's my nature
Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first incapacitate a pope. This will cause the world to sense a grave disturbance in the force, unsettled by your arrival. Who is this threat to our children? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as an intelligence transferred into a computer?
Stage Two
Next, you must disintegrate that Opera House in Sydney. This will all be done from a space station, a mysterious place of unrivalled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of mad scientists hasten to do your every bidding.
Stage Three
Finally, you must activate your needlessly big weather machine, bringing about something that's really metal. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to erect a gigantic statue of you.
"Dear <Lexmark® printer user>
It has come to our notice that you are attempting to use a non-Lexmark® cartridge in your Lexmark® printer. Not only will doing so void your warranty, but your Lexmark® printer has not been certified to work with third party cartridges. For your protection, and to preserve the trouble-free operation of your Lexmark® printer we have temporarily disabled printing on your computer. Please note that any attempt to bypass this printing lock will not only void your warranty, but may render you legally liable in accordance with your Lexmark® EULA and the terms outlined therein. You may click here to see a list of authorized Lexmark® dealers in your area, or to order your replacement Lexmark® cartridges direct.
Thank you."
Then, while I was digging a bit more into that, I learned some more information about the hardware/software hacks that are showing up in newer releases of software to prevent people from scanning or photocopying money. Apparently newer bills have a pattern of little circles on them which the hardware/software recognizes. It's loosely patterned after the constellation of Orion, and it looks like this:
Apparently it's showing up on all the new European currencies, and I've confirmed that it's on our new CDN$5 bills. Wait, what's that - do I hear the music from Twilight Zone? Ack!
Anyway, here's another meme behind a cut.
Congratulations on being the creator of a new
Evil Plan (tm)!
Your objective is simple: World Domination.
Your motive is a little bit more complex: Evil - It's my nature
Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first incapacitate a pope. This will cause the world to sense a grave disturbance in the force, unsettled by your arrival. Who is this threat to our children? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as an intelligence transferred into a computer?
Stage Two
Next, you must disintegrate that Opera House in Sydney. This will all be done from a space station, a mysterious place of unrivalled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of mad scientists hasten to do your every bidding.
Stage Three
Finally, you must activate your needlessly big weather machine, bringing about something that's really metal. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to erect a gigantic statue of you.
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-15 12:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-15 12:53 pm (UTC)Luckily, people got wise.
Unluckily, six months later they released a new version of the same printer, retailing at £45. Cartridges were a ludicrously cheap £7.99 each.
Two months later, the cartridges went back up to £70 a pair.
I have no respect for Lexmark.