And this is why Santa won't be stopping by this year, kids.

[plonq]

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen
Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen.
But do you recall
the most troubled reindeer of all?

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
smelled like a distillery
and if you were to test him
he would blow a 1.3.

All of the other reindeer
mocked him in his drunken state
they didn't know that Rudolph
drank to numb their constant hate.

Then one sodden Christmas Eve
Santa came and said,
"COVID took out half my herd.
Lead my sleigh you drunken turd."

Then how the reindeer feared him,
bleating out a frantic call,
"Rudolph's too soused to steer us;
he is going to kill us all!"

Also ... bird.

Comments

[frith]

Go Rudolf, you lush! Don't look now, but I think Santa's coming down with a cough.