Gecko

Jan. 24th, 2015 12:04 pm
plonq: (Creative mood)
[personal profile] plonq
Cat demands lap.
Merry

One of [livejournal.com profile] atara's co-workers recently posted an ad to their in-company bulletin board, offering a gecko to a good home. The ad got reported by somebody else in the company because she described the gecko as "boring" in her ad.

In fairness, they are boring.

I firmly believe in the importance of truth in advertising, so I offered to rewrite the ad for her co-worker. I get the feeling [livejournal.com profile] atara probably won't forward this to her though.



Are you looking for a fun, loyal companion who will greet you eagerly when you come home, warm your feet when you are cold, comfort you when you are sad, play with you when you are happy, and just love to be around you all the time? If so, then this pet is not for you.

It is a gecko.

If you feed it, the gecko will eat. It will take crickets in at one end and poop stinky cricket remains out the other end. It will not love you for feeding it. It will simply eat and poop because it is a gecko.

It will not come when you call it. It will not respond when you pet it. Sometimes if you stick it to a smooth, vertical surface, like a window, or the inside of a microwave oven, it will stick there. Geckos do that. It will remain just as sedentary on the vertical surface as it will in its cage.

Because it is a gecko.

It is also free to a good home.

It comes with its own cage.

And crickets.

Microwave oven not included.

August 2025

S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
171819202122 23
24252627282930
31      

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Feb. 6th, 2026 04:17 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios