The Numbers Guy
Oct. 3rd, 2012 02:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plonqInspired by the song that came up in my iPod's rotation a few minutes ago...
8<---
It's nine o'clock on a Tuesday morn
The regular slobs shuffle in
There's a frumpy dog on the lift who's
all hung over and reeking of gin.
He says, "Plonq, can you cover my desk for me?
You don't need to know what I do.
I've a conference call, and then sweet bugger all
t'il my afternoon break around two."
La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da ack!
Chorus:
Write us a job, you're the numbers guy
Write us a job today
Well, we're all in the mood for a pivot chart
Resolve it the usual way.
Now Giblet the otter's a friend of mine
He works in this office too
And he's quick with a scowl, and to sourly growl
That there's other things he'd rather do
He says, "Plonq, this is totally bumming me."
As his whiskers lay flat in dispair
"I am sure I'd be much more engaged if I
could have a more comfortable chair."
La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da ack!
And the steno's a qualified analyst
In a permanent state of annoyed.
Yes, they scooped her again with a new intern
but at least she is not unemployed.
Chorus:
Write us a job, you're the numbers guy
Write us a job today
Well, we're all in the mood for a pivot chart
Resolve it the usual way.
Now Saul is an old mainframe specialist
Partitioning data for fun
And he's mentoring Bobby, who still works the job he
was hired into on day one.
It's a pretty big crew for a Tuesday morn
'Cause the nightshift is still hanging 'round
And they'd love to have dashed, but a key server crashed
and some critical fields came unbound.
But the snow leopard, he seems quite oblivious
to the crisis and all the ado
Then he hunches his back, and he utters an "Ack!"
'Cause the Internet, it is down too.
Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da ack!
Chorus:
Write us a job, you're the numbers guy
Write us a job today
Well, we're all in the mood for a pivot chart
Resolve it the usual way.
8<---
It's nine o'clock on a Tuesday morn
The regular slobs shuffle in
There's a frumpy dog on the lift who's
all hung over and reeking of gin.
He says, "Plonq, can you cover my desk for me?
You don't need to know what I do.
I've a conference call, and then sweet bugger all
t'il my afternoon break around two."
La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da ack!
Chorus:
Write us a job, you're the numbers guy
Write us a job today
Well, we're all in the mood for a pivot chart
Resolve it the usual way.
Now Giblet the otter's a friend of mine
He works in this office too
And he's quick with a scowl, and to sourly growl
That there's other things he'd rather do
He says, "Plonq, this is totally bumming me."
As his whiskers lay flat in dispair
"I am sure I'd be much more engaged if I
could have a more comfortable chair."
La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da ack!
And the steno's a qualified analyst
In a permanent state of annoyed.
Yes, they scooped her again with a new intern
but at least she is not unemployed.
Chorus:
Write us a job, you're the numbers guy
Write us a job today
Well, we're all in the mood for a pivot chart
Resolve it the usual way.
Now Saul is an old mainframe specialist
Partitioning data for fun
And he's mentoring Bobby, who still works the job he
was hired into on day one.
It's a pretty big crew for a Tuesday morn
'Cause the nightshift is still hanging 'round
And they'd love to have dashed, but a key server crashed
and some critical fields came unbound.
But the snow leopard, he seems quite oblivious
to the crisis and all the ado
Then he hunches his back, and he utters an "Ack!"
'Cause the Internet, it is down too.
Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da ack!
Chorus:
Write us a job, you're the numbers guy
Write us a job today
Well, we're all in the mood for a pivot chart
Resolve it the usual way.
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no subject
Date: 2012-10-03 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-03 10:22 pm (UTC)Ack! I just noticed that I misspelled "numbers" in the chorus. In every instance of the chorus, naturally, because I cut and pasted it.
Now I am torn over whether to leave it spelled "nubmers" - as a passive-aggressive mockery of our upper managers to whom a spell-checker is their personal Kryptonite - or to fix it.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-05 07:42 am (UTC)I read the post on a cellphone of average intelligence and completely missed the numbers misspelling. I can only guess that my brain overlooked the misspelling and filled in the necessary information. If it continues on this path, eventually you will just have to post and the brain will automatically generate some writing and possibly a photo.
In order to prevent this, I'm going to suggest leaving in the inaccuracies.
I once had a boss that didn't trust spreadsheet calculations.. he would fill them out and then work them with a handheld calculator.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-04 04:08 pm (UTC)B.