plonq: (Grossed out)
[personal profile] plonq
One of the snacks I have been enjoying in my lunches for the past while are some delicious, chewy, chocolate-dipped granola bars that [livejournal.com profile] atara picked up some time back. Alas, we did our shopping at Safeway last night and they don't carry President's Choice brands, so I had to look for a suitable replacement. I was leaning toward those wonderfully unhealthy Sweet & Salty bars, when my better judgement took leave and I grabbed something fibrous and "healthy" instead.

I have had other Kashi products (yes, I know it's just Kellogg's re-branded) and I am quite fond of some of their cereals, so when I saw these pumpkin pie snack bars, I was intrigued.

I am no longer intrigued.

Now to be fair, I have eaten things much worse than these snack bars, but they are far from delicious. They taste like pumpkin pie in the same way that watermelon Starburst tastes like watermelon. If somebody had handed me one of these bars in a blind taste test and asked me to identify the flavour, I'd have identified the flavour as "healthy, with lots of fibre".

These taste like what one might get if one described the flavour of pumpkin pie to a chemist who had never tasted the real thing and then turned him loose in the lab with the final instruction: make it healthy. They don't cross over the line where I will be throwing out the rest of them uneaten, but unless I magically develop a taste for them over the next five bars in the pack, I probably won't be buying them again.

This is not an indictment against chemically-reproduced flavours in general, as I quite like some of the fake flavours out there. Awhile back we dined at a Mongolian restaurant, and I ordered their Honeydew bubble tea. I watched while the girl measured out various powdered ingredients into the blender and whipped up the drink. It tasted chemical and fake, conjuring up images of anime signs in blinking neon overlaid on fuming, post-modern chemical plants in mainland China. It was intriguing, and alluring in all the ways that it should not have been. It was the plastic prostitute of drinks. It was the bad idea that I am probably going to order again in a moment of weakness the next time we dine there.

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