Yumminess

[plonq]

I am looking at the wrapper of a snack bar that I had for breakfast. atara and I buy these as snacks for our lunches, and we harbour no illusions that these things are remotely good for us. On the other hand, this bar seems to think that it is the greatest thing since they invented Vitamin C.

"MADE WITH 100% WHOLE GRAINS"

They extol that in all-capitals on the front of the wrapper. 100% whole grains, eh? Well then it must be food for you. Nothing says healthy eating like 100% whole grains.

The ingredients list on the back tells a different story though.

ROASTED PEANUTS, HIGH MALTOSE CORN SYRUP, WHOLE GRAIN ROLLED OATS, SUGAR, GLUCOSE-FRUCTOSE, CRISP RICE (RICE FLOUR, SUGAR, MALT EXTRACT, SALT), PALM KERNEL OIL, ROASTED CASHEWS, ROASTED ALMONDS, WHEAT FLAKES (WHOLE GRAIN WHEAT, SUGAR, SALT, MALT, MIXED TOCOPHEROLS), FRUCTOSE, CANOLA AND/OR CORN AND/OR COTTONSEED AND/OR SOYBEAN OILS, YOGURT (sic) POWDER (MODIFIED MILK INGREDIENTS, BACTERIAL CULTURES), CASHEW BUTTER (CASHEW NUTS, SAFFLOWER OIL), MALTODEXTRIN, SALT, MILK INGREDIENTS, SOY LECETHIN, COLOUR (CONTAINS TARTRAZINE), NATURAL FLAVOUR, PEANUT OIL, PEANUT BUTTER (PEANUTS, SALT), BAKING SODA, HONEY, MODIFIED COCONUT OIL, MONOGLYCERIDES, RICE BRAN EXTRACT, TOCOPHERALS, EXTRACT OF ROSEMARY, ASCORBIC ACID,

Let's break this down a bit - I think I see a pattern here:

Peanuts
Sugar
Oats
Sugar
Sugar-Sugar
Rice (with added Sugar and Sugar)
Palm oil (yum)
Cashews
Almonds
Wheat (with added Sugar and Sugar)
Sugar
Salt
Sugar
Oil of indeterminate origin
and a bunch of other ingredients, including "modified coconut oil" for added goodness).

Comments

[typographer.livejournal.com]

Now, now!

Apply strict literal logic to the that claim. It says "with". And "100% whole." As long each and every grain that is included in the thing is whole, that statement is true. If I put one kernel of barley and one of wheat in the center of a 1-foot cubic block of crystalized sugar, the resulting cube would have, indeed, but made WITH grains that were each 100% whole...

[pfcottontail.livejournal.com]

Sounds delicious!!

[mwalimu.livejournal.com]

Some decades ago, when Consumer Reports ran an article on breakfast cereals, they noted how many of them listed sugar as the #1 ingredient.

A few years later you never saw sugar as the top ingredient again. But if you read the ingredients you'd still often see it as about the third ingredient. Right behind it was high fructose corn syrup, and within the next few ingredients you'd see a few more such as malt extract, honey, maple syrup, molasses, etc. It seems the cereal makers learned that putting sugar first looks bad, but with a little creative blending of ingredients they could achieve the same waistline enhancing, tooth-rotting flavors without being quite so obvious about it.

[warheart.livejournal.com]

Mmmm sugarrrr! What kind of bar is it?

[pierrekrahn.livejournal.com]

I have to wonder what exactly they modified about the coconut oil.

I can picture the board meeting right now:
"Well, we could use coconut oil"
"We could, but it's quite right"
"Well, we could modify it"
"You, ma'am are a mother fucking genius. I would fuck you right here on this table if people weren't watching us" **



** Probably wasn't that vulgar. I'm just paraphrasing.

[plonq.livejournal.com]

Well, when you look at the ingredients on this these bars, they may as well be a block of crystallized sugar -- which also explains why they are so good.

[plonq.livejournal.com]

It is. =9

[plonq.livejournal.com]

To their defence, I don't think Nature Valley is being entirely duplicitous by listing out the ingredients the way they do. The food laws are fairly explicit about how ingredients get listed here.

On the other hand, I would not be surprised to learn that the reason they use so many different kinds of sugar during the manufacturing process is to help keep it from being the first item on the ingredients list.

[plonq.livejournal.com]

Nature Valley Sweet and Salty nut bars.

Ya, the name alone tells you that you are not buying health food.

[plonq.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure it's (at least partly) hydrogenated. They do that to make it less healthy.

[cozycabbage.livejournal.com]

Yogurt can be spelled three or four different ways. Like fairies.

You must have seen the bit where the FDA decided that Cheerios were a drug, because they were claiming to improve health?
I'd like to say that the answers to our problems aren't 'more laws', but...

[plonq.livejournal.com]

Yes, there are multiple spellings, but I was amused that they chose the British spelling for "colour" and "flavour", then opted for the American spelling of Yoghurt.

[cozycabbage.livejournal.com]

Well, to argue the point, they used the Canadian spelling for colour and flavour. Likewise, I'd not expect them to print 'tyre' instead of 'tire'. (Assuming wheels would be in the food.)

I believe 'yoghurt' is European, while yogurt is Canadian.

Like how we measure distance in inches and kilometers.

[hantamouse.livejournal.com]

You can tell how much sugar is in a food bar by looking at the price. There is an inverse relationship.