Losing my faith in humanity
Jul. 28th, 2008 01:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plonqDear applicant,
Thank you for your interest in applying for our police force. Since you have a pulse, you have passed the physical requirement to join our force, but we must put you through a quick aptitude test to see if you meet our stringent requirements.
Please consider the following scenario:
We have received reports from concerned citizens about a child walking along a highway overpass. When you arrive at the scene, you find a 16-year old male lying under the overpass with a broken back, broken heel, punctured lung and other obvious signs of trauma. He appears to be delirious and is and is muttering incoherently about "killing cops" and "shooting cops". Do you
a) Assume that he is on drugs and cuff him?
b) Beat him unconscious to make him easier to handle? (People in shock can be such pests!)
c) Taser him 19 times for "failure to comply"?
d) Taser him 19 times and claim it was to stop him from darting out into traffic? (Those pesky people with broken backs; always darting about!)
e) Recognize that the young man is obviously injured and call for medical help... naw! Just kidding, Taser him!
If you answered c or d to the question above, you may just have the right stuff to be a member of the Ozark Missouri Police Department. Don't worry if you answered a, b or e because there still might be room for you on our force.
Thank you for your interest in applying for our police force. Since you have a pulse, you have passed the physical requirement to join our force, but we must put you through a quick aptitude test to see if you meet our stringent requirements.
Please consider the following scenario:
We have received reports from concerned citizens about a child walking along a highway overpass. When you arrive at the scene, you find a 16-year old male lying under the overpass with a broken back, broken heel, punctured lung and other obvious signs of trauma. He appears to be delirious and is and is muttering incoherently about "killing cops" and "shooting cops". Do you
a) Assume that he is on drugs and cuff him?
b) Beat him unconscious to make him easier to handle? (People in shock can be such pests!)
c) Taser him 19 times for "failure to comply"?
d) Taser him 19 times and claim it was to stop him from darting out into traffic? (Those pesky people with broken backs; always darting about!)
e) Recognize that the young man is obviously injured and call for medical help... naw! Just kidding, Taser him!
If you answered c or d to the question above, you may just have the right stuff to be a member of the Ozark Missouri Police Department. Don't worry if you answered a, b or e because there still might be room for you on our force.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Sing with me!
Date: 2008-07-28 07:09 pm (UTC)Is just no fun
The bullets fly everywhere
But now our toys
Make much less noise
We fire them without a care
A taser!
A taser!
It's such a wonderful toy!
A taser!
A taser!
Fun for the cop girl and boy
We zap them once
We zap them twice
They wriggle and they scream
We zap them again
'Til their hair's on end
It's better than a wet daydream!
A taser!
A taser!
It's such a wonderful toy!
A taser!
A taser!
Fun for the cop girl and boy
no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 07:22 pm (UTC)Can you say "Trigger happy?"
Thankfully they weren't shooting him with regular guns.
".... and our 19th shot to the head was issued because the perp refused to listen to us."
"Maybe he wasn't listening to you because he was dead."
"That's my point!"
no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 08:02 pm (UTC)Then I read that it was about tazers and knew it didn't have anything to do with Alabama. It would have been with firearms down here; we don't pussy around with that tazer bullshit. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 08:21 pm (UTC)