plonq: (Pissy Mood)
[personal profile] plonq
Option Expletive


Public Function CallSupport( ByRef BrokenComputer as Variant ) as Boolean

Dim hdHelpGuy as Clueless
Dim meCaller as Frustrated

On Error Goto Hell

set hdHelpGuy as new Clueless.Asshat
set meCaller as new Frustrated.Employee

While hdHelpGuy.Comprehension = 0

    Let hdHelpGuy.QueryUser = "Please state the nature of your problem."
    Let meCaller.FirstResponse = "I am having some mainframe connection issues on this old OS/2 workstation."
    Let hdHelpGuy.AddInfo = "What is the EDS asset tag number on your computer?"
    Let meCaller.SecondResponse = "There is no EDS asset tag; this machine predates Desktop Renewal. It's not an EDS machine, it's an old OS/2 one, and the problem is mainframe related."
    Let hdHelpGuy.Scriptmonkey = "Okay, I understand. Could you please right-click on your My Computer icon and..."
    Let meCaller.RepeatReply = meCaller.SecondResponse( StartAtText: "It's not an EDS machine", Interrupt = True )
    Let hdHelpGuy.LackingComprehension = "I... see. I'm going to have to open a ticket on this one and dispatch an EDS technician to..."
    Call Scream( "Frustration", "Angst" )
    Call ReState( meCaller.RepeatReply( meCaller.SecondResponse( StartAtText: "It's not an EDS machine" )))

Wend

Hell:

Error.Clear ' obviously you are already here
Resume Next

End Function

Date: 2006-11-30 04:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fuzzytoedcollie.livejournal.com
Ah, but EDS technician can arrive, rip out and discard your old OS/2 machine, install an EDS machine, then require you to call help support again while now using an EDS machine.

Simple :)


*NOT!*

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