T'is the season for bad pop Christmas music

[plonq]

Christmas really brings out the worst in creativity.  One of my co-workers brought in a CD of mixed Christmas music that he burned from his library at home.  Most of it is okay - Bing Crosby and Nana Mouskouri singing various holiday classics - but mixed in with that are Disney Christmas (I think I've heard enough of Goofy and Mickey sining to last me a lifetime) and various pop singers doing their own original Christmas tunes.  These are the worst.

I think I may vomit the next time I hear Christine Aguilera, or George Michael or one of the various clones thereof singing one of their lame Christmas songs.  I don't know if they are under contractual obligation to do at least one Christmas song for their record labels, but I think I could probably encapsulate all of the songs in just a few lines.

"It's that special time of year, oh ya.
It's all about love and family.
It only comes once a year.
Can you feel it?  Oh ya.
Hug your children."

It's not all bad, mind you.  For instance, who can forget the classic by Ray Davies that starts with:

"When I was small I believed in Santa Claus
Though I knew it was my dad
And I would hang up my stocking at Christmas
Open my presents and I'd be glad

But the last time I played Father Christmas
I stood outside a department store
A gang of kids came over and mugged me
And knocked my reindeer to the floor"

(etc)

Comments

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

Yes, but what about the horror that is "I Farted on Santa's Lap (Now Christmas Is Gonna Stink For Me)"?

*shudders*

-The Gneech

[funos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, for some strange reason, the only Xmas tunes which don't get tired are the ones from Bing Crosby's era. Everything else sounds like a knockoff.

[duncandahusky.livejournal.com]

Back when takaza was DJ'ing his company's Christmas parties I amassed quite a collection of novelty Christmas songs for him. I think the most outre' that ever got played was Reggae Christmas (I kept the South Park Christmas album in a separate directory so it wouldn't get played :-)

This time of year, I generally fall back on early music to get into the holiday spirit - Taverner trumps Bono any day, in my book.

[ceruleanst.livejournal.com]

It's not obligation, it's opportunism. Everyone in the business knows that if they record a Christmas album, even if their other music is immediately forgotten to perish in obscurity forever, they will still get some radio play every December for the next sixty years.

[shockwave77598.livejournal.com]

I'm still waiting for someone to do "Urban Xmas" with rapstars doing their favorite carols... :)