Dreadful pop Christmas songs

I don't mind hearing traditional Christmas music redone by modern bands, in fact I quite enjoy hearing unique takes on songs (like, say, a death metal rendition of Away In A Manger).

I find generic pop Christmas tunes much less enjoyable. I'm talking about the songs that sound like somebody was contractually obligated to produce a Christmas song, so they just crank out a bunch of lame, feel-good lyrics (or sad lyrics about Christmas shoes) and then figure if they sing with enough sustain and vibrato, nobody will notice just how crappy the song really is.

I have about 30 seconds free today. That should be enough time to write a Christmas song that would make Christina Aguilera proud.

It's that time of year
oh ya
Can you feel it?
It's that special feeling in the air
when you show that you care
and it's all about family
and that shit, oh ya.
And I wish I could be in town
but this brain tumour has me down.
Oh can you hear the children singing?
Can you hear the bells ringing?
Oh ya, it's that special time of year
with Jesus and some shit like that,
oh ya!