plonq | OMGBBQ!!!

Maybe it doesn't deserve that many exclamation points, but I think this new barbecue tip needs at least one. It's something so simple and obvious that I can't believe I never hear of it before, nor even though of it on my own.

<cue cheesy TV announcer voice>

Announcer: Are you tired of this?

Plonqie is standing over the barbecue, wearing his favourite, stained and singed "Yiff The Chef" apron. Flames lick dangerously close to his furry arms as he deftly clamps onto a chicken breast with his rusty tongs and attempts to turn it. He lifts it away, but almost half of it remains behind, stuck solidly to the grill. Ack!

Announcer: Well worry no more! Thanks to the industrial chemical engineers who keep our buses and chemical weapons plants operating like fine clockwork, we now have a new miracle product called (dramatic pause) OIL!

Plonq: Oil? That's not new!

Announcer: It's not to you, isn't it?

Plonq: Well, what do I do with this... oil? I want to grill my chicken, not deep fry it or fornicate with it.

Announcer: I'm glad you asked. Just marinade your chicken breasts in vegetable or olive oil for ten to fifteen minutes before you grill. Add your favourite spices.

Plonq: Purr. I see... because chicken always tastes better when it's dripping and greasy, right?

Announcer: No, you idiot! The oil will prevent it from sticking to the grill, and it will seal in the liquids giving you tender, moist, flavourful breasts.

...

Announcer: Chicken breasts you sicko. Put down that atomizer!

<End cheesy television scene>

I employed that trick with our grilled chicken breasts this evening. What an astounding difference it made! Who needs burgers or steaks when chicken turns out this good.