Sometimes I wonder if I'm losing my mind
Sep. 17th, 2019 10:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plonqI've always been absent minded, but in the past couple of weeks I've had a couple of memory lapses that have left me a little concerned.
About three weeks back I walked down to the grocery store about fifteen minutes south of home to pick up a few things I needed for dinner that night. I took the scenic route home from there, making the round trip time about 45 minutes by the time I got back to the house. When I went to let myself in, I discovered that I did not have my keys. My first thought was that I had left them in the house because I have done that in the past. In my mind that was the best case scenario. Other scenarios included dropping them somewhere along the way to or from the store (unlikely based on the pocket I carry them in), or that I left them at the till when I was digging something out of my pockets. That one seemed more likely, since I'm the same guy who left his wallet at airport security when I was flying down to visitatara back when we were dating.
As I was retracing my steps back toward the store, I became more certain of the fact that I must have left my keys there because I clearly remember checking the mail on my way down... the mail... ! I double-timed it to the public mailboxes and even from half a block away I could clearly see my keys hanging in the keyhole of our mailbox. It's a testament to the honesty of the people in this neighbourhood that they'd been hanging there for the better part of an hour and nobody had taken them.
I had something similar, though not quite as dire happen today. I was heading out early this afternoon to pick up some more coffee from the roaster, and some cat food to replace the two-dozen tins thatatara and I both swear we bought recently, but for which we can find no evidence. On my way out the door, I stopped to run out the garbage and recycling to get a jump on that before collection day. I tossed the blue bin onto the back porch, locked the door and pulled it closed behind me. Then I reached into my pocket and discovered that I had my car keys, but not my house keys.
My brain immediately kicked into panic mode. First I checked the door to see if I had failed at locking the door. Locked tight. After mulling on the situation, I calmed down a bit. I had my phone, so I could messageatara and let her know that dinner would be late because somebody had locked himself out of the house. I had my car keys, so even if it was +31 out this afternoon, I could always take refuge in the car and cruise around with the air going. Wait, the car...
This is when the part of my brain that I have not entirely managed to kill with beer began to do some critical thinking.
If I want to get into the car, I need to get into the garage. I only considered the car because my brain knows that the garage is unlocked. The only way I could have unlocked the garage is if I had my keys.
Sure enough, they were hanging in the garage door where I had left them, and where I had no memory of having left them.
In fairness, my mind was very preoccupied this afternoon between planning out the most efficient route for coffee/cat food, mulling over the tax audit, and trying to decide who I should call about our leaking roof.
What bothers me about both of these incidents is not that I left my keys hanging in a slot - I've done that before - but that I had no memory of having left them there. It's like I forgot the existence of the keys the moment they left my hand, and did not think of them again until I noticed them missing later.
I haven't noticed any real signs of cognitive decline, and I'm sureatara would not be shy of letting me know if she started seeing anything, but I'm starting to get up to the age where that's one of the things one starts to worry about.
About three weeks back I walked down to the grocery store about fifteen minutes south of home to pick up a few things I needed for dinner that night. I took the scenic route home from there, making the round trip time about 45 minutes by the time I got back to the house. When I went to let myself in, I discovered that I did not have my keys. My first thought was that I had left them in the house because I have done that in the past. In my mind that was the best case scenario. Other scenarios included dropping them somewhere along the way to or from the store (unlikely based on the pocket I carry them in), or that I left them at the till when I was digging something out of my pockets. That one seemed more likely, since I'm the same guy who left his wallet at airport security when I was flying down to visit
atara back when we were dating. As I was retracing my steps back toward the store, I became more certain of the fact that I must have left my keys there because I clearly remember checking the mail on my way down... the mail... ! I double-timed it to the public mailboxes and even from half a block away I could clearly see my keys hanging in the keyhole of our mailbox. It's a testament to the honesty of the people in this neighbourhood that they'd been hanging there for the better part of an hour and nobody had taken them.
I had something similar, though not quite as dire happen today. I was heading out early this afternoon to pick up some more coffee from the roaster, and some cat food to replace the two-dozen tins that
atara and I both swear we bought recently, but for which we can find no evidence. On my way out the door, I stopped to run out the garbage and recycling to get a jump on that before collection day. I tossed the blue bin onto the back porch, locked the door and pulled it closed behind me. Then I reached into my pocket and discovered that I had my car keys, but not my house keys.My brain immediately kicked into panic mode. First I checked the door to see if I had failed at locking the door. Locked tight. After mulling on the situation, I calmed down a bit. I had my phone, so I could message
atara and let her know that dinner would be late because somebody had locked himself out of the house. I had my car keys, so even if it was +31 out this afternoon, I could always take refuge in the car and cruise around with the air going. Wait, the car...This is when the part of my brain that I have not entirely managed to kill with beer began to do some critical thinking.
If I want to get into the car, I need to get into the garage. I only considered the car because my brain knows that the garage is unlocked. The only way I could have unlocked the garage is if I had my keys.
Sure enough, they were hanging in the garage door where I had left them, and where I had no memory of having left them.
In fairness, my mind was very preoccupied this afternoon between planning out the most efficient route for coffee/cat food, mulling over the tax audit, and trying to decide who I should call about our leaking roof.
What bothers me about both of these incidents is not that I left my keys hanging in a slot - I've done that before - but that I had no memory of having left them there. It's like I forgot the existence of the keys the moment they left my hand, and did not think of them again until I noticed them missing later.
I haven't noticed any real signs of cognitive decline, and I'm sure
atara would not be shy of letting me know if she started seeing anything, but I'm starting to get up to the age where that's one of the things one starts to worry about.
