Do you want coffee with that?

[plonq]

Whenever somebody ahead of me in line orders their coffee triple-triple, or any other combination where the condiments make up a statistically significant portion of the drink, a little bit of me shrivels and dies inside. If you wanted a sweet latte, why didn't you just order that? On the other hand I understand that people have their own taste in coffee, and there is nothing wrong with them ordering it drowned in cream and sugar; the purists probably grate when I order mine with half-cream and sugar.

"So centuries of selective coffee breeding, and honing of the roasting and brewing process isn't good enough for you, eh? Do you think Juan Valdez puts cream and sugar in his coffee? Ingrato! His poor little burro busted its haunches bringing those beans down the mountain for your cup of coffee, and now you've made it cry because you ruined it!"

When you put it that way, it sounds like I just ordered a Dom Perignon slushie, or Dalmore with Diet Pepsi on ice.

Also I'm just over 16,000. I really need to reboot this server, but I don't want it to lose its place.

Comments

[dakhun.livejournal.com]

and now you've made it cry because you ruined it!

Well that serves it right for delivering much-needed caffeine in such a bitter and unpalatable form.

Myself, I'll get a cafe mocha, rather than a triple-triple or whatever a "sweet latte" is.

[pierrekrahn.livejournal.com]

The 16,000 spins don't count unless you sit there and watch them all with the sound on!

[plonq.livejournal.com]

There's sound?

[ionotter.livejournal.com]

Ahhhh, but you see? You're drinking regular coffee. No-no-no-no...you need to try espresso.

Go to an Italian restaurant, a good one. One where you sit for nearly two hours or more; eating, chatting, eating, talking some more, eating some more. To the point where you fear that moving will cause the planet to shift on it's axis.

Then, order an espresso. It's perfectly okay to add several teaspoons of sugar to that tiny cup, but believe it or not, it's even better if you don't. A good restaurant will provide a strip of lemon rind, which you crush between two fingers and drop into the cup for the lemon oil. An extraordinary restaurant will add a splash of Sambuca to the cup. Not enough to give you any buzz, just a touch.

Sip it. Savor it. Let the bitterness wash over your tongue. About a half-second into it, you'll start to feel it cleanse your palate. All the leftover bits of lasagna, sausage, antipasto, oily dressing and desserts will slide down your throat.

Sit back and take a long, slow breath. Spend the next few minutes chatting, enjoying yourself. It will feel warm in your stomach. Now take another sip, and you'll notice it doesn't seem as bitter. No, it's not the shock, it's still cleaning. Now another, and polish off the cup.

In your stomach, the bitter compounds will act like a drill sergeant to your little acid soldiers. It will shout at them and bring them into alignment for work. Your stomach will be whipped into fighting form, and everything will gently churn and process to nutritional perfection, and emotional bliss.

[plonq.livejournal.com]

Aw man, you are so making me crave a good espresso right now. It's been years since I had a proper one.

[mwalimu.livejournal.com]

The last site I went to that played that particular musical loop was one that had a very adult shock video, and used a number of scripting tricks that made it impossible to exit the site, or close the tab or browser (I had to open task manager and kill my browser).

[aurifer.livejournal.com]

Bah. These people aren't buying a coffee experience -- they're getting a caffeinated beverage. It's the people who are being snobs about Tim Hortons coffee instead of making their own with fresh ground beans that are being weird.