Do you want fries with -- OH DEAR GOD!

[plonq]

One penny.
Two pennies.
Three pennies (ah! ah! ah!)

WARNING: second grade math incoming...

Q) Little Johnny goes to the store to buy some crystal meth for his mother. Mister Whifflebat, the crack-addled paedophile shop owner only wants $4.68 and undisclosed favours for the meth, but Johnny's mother has given him $5.18 to launder. Assuming we don't find Johnny's abused corpse in a ditch the next day, how much change should he return home with?

A1) First, hand back the $.18 because "you gave me too much..." X

A2) Accidentally punch $5.00 into the till before it registers that you have change in your hand as well. X

A3) Begin pulling change out of the till at random and put it back again as your brain struggles with the math. Start with pennies. X

A4) Hand a random amount of change to the customer and wait for him to pass back what he doesn't need. X

A5) If by "store" you mean "McDonalds Drive-Through", and by "shop owner" you mean "Drone" then do all of the above. ü

I hit the drive-through for breakfast on my way to work this morning. My bill came out to $4.68, so I initially fished out a $5.00 to pay for the meal, but even as I was doing so, a little voice in the back of my brain said, "$.32 in change -- ugh, more pennies." Since the car ahead of me had not yet pulled ahead, I dug deep in to my pocket and counted out another $.18. When I pulled up to the window, I handed the clerk $5.18. As you might guess, hilarity ensued.

Comments

[pierrekrahn.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of that girl selling shirts at the NIN concert!

[shockwave77598.livejournal.com]

They probably thought you were trying to make their cashregister explode.

Terrorist :)

[dakhun.livejournal.com]

He didn't want to give you any quarters because he's saving all the ones with pictures of wheelchair curling and deaf-mute bobsleigh basketball.

[duncandahusky.livejournal.com]

Salesperson: "That's $1.89"
Dilbert: "Just for simplicity, I'll give you $7.14. As an Engineer, I feel a professional responsibility to make things easy for people"
Salesperson: "...carry the three??" (as he counts with his fingers)

[ducktapeddonkey.livejournal.com]

I'm still not really sure why this happens now. I mean, don't most places have cash registers?

Even if you pay an even, expected amount like say $5 in this case. The cashier is probably still going to let the register tell them how much change to give.

Although I've seen it too where they'll preemptively enter the amount they think you'll be giving them, only to end up messed up when you give them something different.

What's really great is when they tell you they can't make change for that.

Skool

[smrgol-t-kirin.livejournal.com]

I worked in a Hobby Store for a while while the architecture field was in a slump.

A phone call from one morning:

Salesman: "Hello, how can I help you?"
Woman on the phone answers ...
Salesman covers the mouthpiece and says to me "She's looking for 2/16" diameter dowel. What should I tell her?"

Me (thinking fast): "Tell her we have 1/8" and 4/32" in stock, but no 2/16."

Salesman repeats this to the woman and then, grinning wildly, mouths a "YES!!" and a fist pump. He then asks her to come in as we can probably give her something that will work.

He then relates what she said when told the 2/16" dowel was out of stock:
"Oh, I'm a school teacher and I need six pieces for a science project. I guess I'll have to get it somewhere else."

That one call made our week.

Re: Skool

[patchworking.livejournal.com]

I can't stop chuckling. Hee hee hee.

[tzisorey.livejournal.com]

Problem is, by trying to simplify change, you turned the change-giving process from one of simply counting out an amount, into actual maths ;)