Hygiene hijinx
Sep. 12th, 2006 10:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plonqWarning: possibly nsfw language to follow.
I am scheduled to fly out to our head office tomorrow morning to kick off two days of meetings with my (still to be decided) new department. I have my flight and hotel booked (a point about which I grumbled late last week) and now I'm just doing some pre-flight research to find out what kinds of things I can and cannot take on the plane. I had a pretty good idea what was and was not allowed before I checked the Transport Canada page, but I just wanted to confirm that there were no additions to the list.
Liquids or gels include, but are not limited to: beverages, puddings, perfumes, deodorants, shampoos, suntan lotions, creams, hand sanitizers, toothpastes, hair gels, contact solutions, mascaras, lip glosses and other items of similar consistency.
Pardon me for a moment while I rail at the stupid of our regulators. What the hell is wrong with you stupid fucking god damned knee-jerking overpaid morons? How, by any rational stretch of the imagination is banning toothpaste or mascara on a plane supposed to make me feel any safer when I fly? Is it supposed to make me feel as safe as I did when you confiscated my 1 1/2", snub-nosed plastic scissors a couple of years ago?
Oh, I'm sure if I held my breath long enough to kill sufficient braincells then I could probably understand your concern. I could have taken those scissors and, with a lot of fucking sweat and effort, possibly cut a piece of paper into the shape of a usable weapon. We know how scary paper cuts can be!
But, of course, the police in Britian broke up a crack team of terrorists who were planning to smuggle dangerous explosive liquids onto a plane and reap havoc. Naturally the news of this momentous bust led our collective regulators to do what they do best:
And now we can't take any liquids on any flights because we're all potential terrorists don'tcha know? Sorry granny, you can board the plane but the tonic stays. How do we know you're not an Al Queda operative looking to blow up our plane? And you there missy, how do I know that's breast milk in those bottles? That baby could be fake! Maybe you'd better just drink them all down and if you haven't died before departure then we might let you fly home to see your family.
Wait a minute - the police force that alerted us to these dangerous, liquid-bearing terrorists is the same one whokilled an innocent Brazilian man in cold blood caught a dangerous, bomb-toting terrorist in their train station last year, isn't it? Actually they seem to have a great record lately of running around like Keystone Kops and arresting/killing the wrong people tracking and combating terrorists, so naturally we should hang on their every word. If they say that it was a plausible liquid threat, who are we to question them (emerging facts and science aside)?
No toothpaste or deodorant allowed? Well I suppose that at worst, I'll smell bad at my meetings this week. I'm sure they'll understand (or at least write it off to the fact that I'm from Winnipeg).
On a less cynical note, I'm pretty certain that this picture has been digitally altered, but it still made me grin.
I am scheduled to fly out to our head office tomorrow morning to kick off two days of meetings with my (still to be decided) new department. I have my flight and hotel booked (a point about which I grumbled late last week) and now I'm just doing some pre-flight research to find out what kinds of things I can and cannot take on the plane. I had a pretty good idea what was and was not allowed before I checked the Transport Canada page, but I just wanted to confirm that there were no additions to the list.
Liquids or gels include, but are not limited to: beverages, puddings, perfumes, deodorants, shampoos, suntan lotions, creams, hand sanitizers, toothpastes, hair gels, contact solutions, mascaras, lip glosses and other items of similar consistency.
Pardon me for a moment while I rail at the stupid of our regulators. What the hell is wrong with you stupid fucking god damned knee-jerking overpaid morons? How, by any rational stretch of the imagination is banning toothpaste or mascara on a plane supposed to make me feel any safer when I fly? Is it supposed to make me feel as safe as I did when you confiscated my 1 1/2", snub-nosed plastic scissors a couple of years ago?
Oh, I'm sure if I held my breath long enough to kill sufficient braincells then I could probably understand your concern. I could have taken those scissors and, with a lot of fucking sweat and effort, possibly cut a piece of paper into the shape of a usable weapon. We know how scary paper cuts can be!
But, of course, the police in Britian broke up a crack team of terrorists who were planning to smuggle dangerous explosive liquids onto a plane and reap havoc. Naturally the news of this momentous bust led our collective regulators to do what they do best:
And now we can't take any liquids on any flights because we're all potential terrorists don'tcha know? Sorry granny, you can board the plane but the tonic stays. How do we know you're not an Al Queda operative looking to blow up our plane? And you there missy, how do I know that's breast milk in those bottles? That baby could be fake! Maybe you'd better just drink them all down and if you haven't died before departure then we might let you fly home to see your family.
Wait a minute - the police force that alerted us to these dangerous, liquid-bearing terrorists is the same one who
No toothpaste or deodorant allowed? Well I suppose that at worst, I'll smell bad at my meetings this week. I'm sure they'll understand (or at least write it off to the fact that I'm from Winnipeg).
On a less cynical note, I'm pretty certain that this picture has been digitally altered, but it still made me grin.
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 03:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 03:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 03:09 am (UTC)A few years back I was headed for MFF by way of Washington DC.
They confiscated my ELECTRIC Hot Glue Gun. Sympathetically of course, "I know what it is and how it's used, but can be heated (110V AC on a plane?!) and it's gun shaped" (well it was vaguely gun shaped).
They probably thought I'd stick up the plane or something.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 03:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 03:20 am (UTC)I'm taking a chance by packing a safety razor in my carry-on. They may confiscate it (I mean, they took away my plastic scissors on another trip -- left in my bag by accident with a travel sewing kit I'd forgotten I had) but I'll take that chance.
One of the sillier things I read about recently was an elderly traveller who had a box of gunpowder tea in his carry-on. They detained him for awhile and eventually let him through with the tea, but confiscated the box (they poured the tea into a ziplock bag for him). Stupid. It's like all our senior officials have taken complete leave of their senses, and it's just trickling down by assmosis.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 03:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 03:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 03:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 05:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-14 01:35 am (UTC)